Haven’t posted on here in a while. Oh well, just kinda had a long night. I just feel like the worst man in the world tonight. I let the woman I love down on a daily basis. I feel like she should absolutely be with somebody she deserves instead of a piece of shit guy like me. Yeah this sounds harsh, but it’s how I’ve felt for ages. And it’s my blog… So suck it. I don’t know what to do sometimes honestly. I get so scared. I feel like the woman I love and want to marry is just absolutely too good for me. I was having a talk with kellin (singer on the tour) (very rad dude) about how incredible she was for a while tonight. And with everything I said about her, I just wanted to start crying because I know how much I let her down on a consistent basis. She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves everything I’m not. I’m crying a bit writing this. Had a very long and emotional night. I’m a loser I know, but at least I have feelings I guess. I’ve never really been a confident person, with anything. I mean I feel like all the songs I write aren’t good enough, my voice isnt good enough, I’m not good looking enough, I could go on and on. And translating all of these insecurities into a relationship, not good. How can I treat her right when I can’t even believe I’m worth a penny or a second of anyone’s time. Had some amazing talks with nick tonight. What a good guy. Seriously he is one of a kind, so inspiring. I miss him alot since he’s left to go live the Cali dream. I miss Fleur so much. Wow. Just thinking about her while writing this makes me miss her so much. She’s so great and so beautiful and fun to be around. I hope so badly that she is ok. Hopefully someday I’ll be able to be a good boyfriend to her, or even just a good person for that matter. I hate crying. I hate feeling this way. But I guess it’s just who I am.
Sleeping alone
Feeling lonely
Staring at photos of you on my phone for hours
Reaching for your hand to find air
The tears of loneliness shed
Holding a pillow to try and sleep (pretending it’s you of course… Not the same)
The constant heartache
The hole in my chest
Every lyric i write ending up being about feeling alone or how I want you here
Needing your kiss and having nothing
Hearing an English accent and getting sad because it makes me think of being with you
Hearing your voice twice a week
letters you type to me being our only contact
Chatting for a few hours a day because of the time difference
You being across an ocean… Oh how I despise that ocean
I love you… Where are you…
Come back…
haha well thank you. i met her a while ago when she came to america to hang out with her friends in bury tomorrow who was on tour with us. we were just friends at that point. we kept in contact and were still really close after that despite the distance. we started dating when attack toured the uk and she was at most of the dates. shes the jam! love her to death
im a cubase man myself. just up to personal preference really. i mean most daws are pretty similar. and i just got into it on accident honestly. just wanted something to demo stuff out on and it ended up sounding decent. then i just got really into mixing and the rest is history!
no religion for me, not my jam. just follow jesus’s example and follow the bible. idk, diet and exercise i suppose haha
she helped me learn how to control my pitch a lot better and helped me with breathing properly. She definitely did wonders and i wouldn’t be the singer i am today if it wasn’t for her
